Just a Little Note to Make You Laugh

This is PeeWee. She is a fat little sausage dog that recently came into our lives when my great uncle passed away. Since I started  working out, I thought that I'd take her along on a walk with me.Here's my facebook status that day! :  

OK, so I laced up the shoes and went and took PeeWee, my great uncle's little sausage dog who should be a weenie dog ;)...anyway so we had a great walk and then we are about 5 minutes from my house, she gets off the leash and runs, I start running after her, and she keeps looking back at me, like come one stupid, catch up. I guess she was ready to quit ...SO maybe she's the only trainer I need...LOL

God Be With You
Katie

Lost and Unloved

 

2007 - Turnagain Arm/Portage Alaska

1964 Earthquake Remains

Loss is a profound thing. It starts from the inside out and implodes until every dark thought struggles to reach the light and be free. I took this photo before my husband passed away and now it is after. Yes, there is a before and after when it comes to loss. I was one way then and now I am this changed person. I've started thinking lately of this because my great uncle passed away last week and  it was my anniversary or what would have been my anniversary last Thursday. 

It would have been 3 years. He's been gone a little over 2 1/2. Those first few dark days only break into more because soon after everyone leaves and you are the one left alone. Alone sucks. I know it seems weird but in those first months without him, I could feel him. Every morning at 3 am I would wake up, as if on cue and his presence would be overwhelming. Those first 6 months without him seemed to drag on forever. I can still remember in vivid details the pain, the depression, the silence and the loneliness is a killer. It was easier to sleep, zone out, or just not be there rather than feel the emptiness inside.

I learned a new song for worship at church and it has really, really, touched me. It's called "How He Loves" by the David Crowder Band. It reminds me of God's love but in a totally new way. I'm reading Ted Dekker's Circle Series which is basically the story of Jesus. What strikes me is that they talk of God's love as "The Great Romance", and it really is isn't it? Jesus laid his life down for us. And we betray Him again and again. My Jesus is not about hate, legalism, nor guilt. Read the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) in the New Testament. That is the person I am trying to become. God's love has saved me from heartache. He has loved and comforted me and been my friend in my worst need. You should really read those books. They are really really eye- opening. God makes beauty from ashes definitely. Just look at me.

Grace Be With You
Katie

A Walk Along the Arroyo

 Saturday, spurred by my sister into running for exercise and on a training regimen, I went to my local birding park that is near the Arroyo, which is basically a river?, I think. I'd have to ask someone the answer to that but I digress. The point isn't really whether the Arroyo is a canal or a river, it's my experience that day. 

I got out of my truck, put my headphones on and started out. Found out I could run, if only for short periods of time, but what is really important is that probably for the first time in my life, I felt like I was walking with God. As I turned onto this path, I turned the music off, and was literally praying and in front of me was a beautiful monarch butterfly. It was gorgeous and peaceful and as I walked it simply led me down the path, to a turn and all the way I am having a conversation with God. A CONVERSATION. I know, there are those of you who are now questioning my sanity. I'm not. Part of hearing from God is to listen. And sometimes to listen we have to turn everything off, get away from all the distractions of social media (me), children (me again!) and anything else that is going on in life. I had been praying for a place that I could get away and just get with God. I never really thought that working out would end up being one of those times.

So one of the small revelations that I learned was that God always answers. There is a season for everything. I didn't know my husband was going to die or when or anything like that but three days before he died his brother showed up in Alaska. Now, it wasn't planned until a week before that he would come stay with us. But I was such a mess that I needed him there. I honestly don't know what I would have done without him. So sometimes God is working other people and situations to work into yours. Be patient. Accept a no, not yet or a yes answer. You never know what God is doing or planning that is probably ten times better than what you could have ever done!

I leave you with this:

Be happy in your faith and rejoice and be glad-hearted continually. 1 Thessalonians 5:16

Grace Be With You
Katie

Life is A Ferris Wheel - Can I get off this thing??

So I had this conversation with God the other day. The one thing that I find hard is to share my true feelings with anyone, even myself. But I want to be completely honest on this blog because more than likely somewhere out there there is someone who feels like I do. I find myself, even as a christian who knows better, judging a christian more harshly than someone who isn't. The truth is as a christian,  life gets harder. We are not only held to a higher standard but we still have faults and trials and things that we must learn. I am learning so much, but we have to go through the fire it seems to get there.
It seems to me that this ferris wheel is a lot like life. I seem to go around and around in circles with how I feel and how I learn new things.But right now, honestly I feel like I'm on a ferris wheel, fighting the same fleshly impulses which I then confess and ask for forgiveness and then do it all over again. I know that it is not the same thing. But here I am on this one topic over and over. I'm pretty sure that God rolls His eyes in exasperation at me sometimes. I mean really. Like the conversation the other day was simply a repeat of a previous prayer sent up in frustration at what is going on in my life.God is so great! He listens. He forgives.
And sometimes, I think He might think I'm hilarious....after all He made me this way!

Grace Be With You
Katie

Happy Easter to One and All!

Happy Easter to one and all!!

So this Easter was a little different for me. My boys have gotten older and even before Christmas I was thinking about telling them the truth about dear old Saint Nick, the Tooth Fairy, and regrettably Rudy the elf. This Easter brought many questions and I just felt that Easter and Christmas are very important holidays so a few days before Easter I sat them down and told them the truth.

Yes, Virginia, I am Saint Nick, the Tooth Fairy, The Easter Bunny and even Rudy the Elf. I write you the messages and spend time hiding eggs, buying and wrapping the gifts and slipping coins under your pillow and grabbing that tooth you hold onto like a bank.
But all these holidays, sure the spirit of the season is all great, giving to your favorite charity, helping those you love, it's all good. But the real reason of these holidays goes way beyond getting lost in all this worldly clutter.

Everyone tells you Happy Easter, Merry Christmas and get so involved in baking, wrapping, cleaning, and everything else that we forget to spend time with the One who it is truly about, Jesus. He was tortured and killed so that we would live. He was born to DIE. He was born to TEACH us, and give us mercy, grace, comfort and SHOW us what it really is to be in a relationship with Him,  without all the baggage and legalism.
So this Easter it wasn't all about Peeps, eggs, and fake grass. I really wanted my boys to see what Jesus went through for us.

Grace Be With You
Katie

Dear Raymond

Dear Raymond,

I find myself unable to fall asleep tonight. I keep thinking of you and you are deeply on my mind. I was thinking about how you always would doubt my love whenever I would get mad at you. I never could fully grasp that. I know that it was because your own mother turned her back on you but just so you know I think she truly regrets that decision.
I keep having that silly song from 50 First Dates running through my head. Remember that movie? We watched it on one of our "dates" and you loved that song "Over the Rainbow" when the Israel guy sang it with the ukelele. It's been a long time since you've gone up to heaven. I remember thinking after you died that God was punishing me for all the wrong things that I had done in my life. It's only now that I have gotten to know Him that I know that it was never about me. God must have needed a really great chef up in heaven. I certainly couldn't think of a better one than you. It's been over 2.5 years and I know that my wings are just about healed. I can feel that God has plans for me. I miss You. I miss your laughter and how you thought I was so "cute" when I was mad at you...oh how that infuriated me. And you would just laugh like it was a joke. It made me want to stomp my feet like a 5 year old. I'm not sure that "cute" is the right word for it, but it sure made you laugh. I didn't want to get out of bed. It took everything I had just to breathe. I don't feel you around me anymore. I sold our dishes. You know the ones that we strolled up and down Fred Meyers FOREVER picking out. I knew I could never use them again.
Remember how I worried about Quinn not reading like Zach? Didn't really need to worry about it. Turns out bribery makes him read like a bookworm. And Zach is getting better. Both of them are. They don't cry so much over the little things anymore. They still dig AC/DC. Martin calls every now and again and Sola is trying to be a dad. I let him have the boys for 3 weeks last summer. We'll see how it goes.
There is no one new. There is the hope of someone new to love. But I think you would be a pretty tough act to follow. I wish I could say I knew how Laura is but I couldn't think after you died and anger is really easy to feel when you're heart has just broken beyond repair. I still remember the night I cried out to God. It was the first night that I thought I might just get through this. The pain was beyond anything that I have ever felt. I was just grasping for anything. Sitting there in the beautiful Alaskan night, with a bottle of rum. I remember repeating forever, I can't take it anymore, and I remember that when I finally yelled it out at God that I felt an instant sense of peace floating over me like I had just drank a really hot cup of coffee. God is who got me to here but I'm feeling stalled. And I just miss you like crazy. Some days more than others and it seems this is one of those days. I never had to worry about whether you would still love me, I was secure in it. I knew that I could be insane and you would still love me no matter what came. And now you are gone and I'm here. I keep thinking of my Aunt Lee. I know the silence and darkness must kill her but I also know that she is strong in her faith with God. Something that I was not.
I miss you
I love you

Longhorns and Parenting

Longhorns in Rio Grande Valley, Texas taken at dusk. This Momma was yelling at me or the kid, not sure which one...;) Ok, Tech Specs: Nikon D90, 70-300mm lens.

Does this picture look familiar? It does to me, I can see this calf as either one of my sons and yep, that's me, nagging away at whatever they have done recently and well, that's a lot. I'm actually thinking about homeschooling. Yep, homeschool. The word sends chills down my neck...Now, don't get me wrong, I love my children, but I think back to the 1800's when parents pretty much did the "schoolin'" and I really don't think either one of us would survive..children OR mom...;) I might actually have to get that straight jacket for myself. What brought this all around was that both my sons have been in trouble. Serious trouble. We are not talking they just didn't obey mom, we are talking full out peer pressure vandalism, lying, and a really potty mouth. Not too mention one of them kicked a girl! Cause He FELT like it....

Okay, so I have some kids that learn obscene language on the bus, kick little girls, and vandalise empty houses. So I have had to pray about it. My sons do not want me to do what I FELT like doing, which was totally kick them!!! Anyway, they are on prison lockdown. And it's spring break. It's just gonna have to be that way until I feel they get it...so far..not really.

Oh okay so to my point, I mean this blog is about God right, so how does that all work itself in? Okay, so I've been reading and praying and just asking God what to do, I mean I have to face it, my boys do not have a solid male role model. There dad is in Minnesota and pretty much a summer dad, if you know what I mean, so where to from here?

So the Bible is the thought of the day, it's where we learn how to act so I'm looking up Bible verses and stories that relate and I'm going to have them memorize them, so if you have any you think would be good for them, let me know. I'm also having them work, work, work. Write apology letters, and work a little at our church this week. Maybe that seems harsh but I see so many parents that aren't doing anything, so I ask for a little prayer tonight or today, help my kids see God and the errors of their ways!

Well Until Tomorrow
Grace Be With You
Katie

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Long Overdue and Coming Back!!

I have been gone quite awhile from my blog but I'm on my way back. Hit a rough spot there but everything is A-OK and I'm gettting back to shooting photos and commenting on this here blog...(think southern accent!) This is what happens when I watch Larry the Cable Guy..Sorry. ;)

So tomorrow, there will be a new post and a new photo...For those that hung on..thanks, for those that didn't...come on back...pretty photos coming soon!!!

Question? Should the 365 days start over??? Hmmm...need to pray about it...Talk to you soon!

Grace Be With You
Katie

In His Time

 

This is one of my favorite photos. I absolutely love the fact that this pelican let me get so close. My mom and I had gone down to the beach to take photos one day. We went over to where the docks where behind Pirate's Landing, a local restaurant. We are walking around snapping photos here and there of the water and boats. And I see a pelican standing on a wood post coming up out of the water. What was so interesting to me is that it wasn't far from me at all. We are talking about 4 feet between me and the pelican. What I found interesting was that it didn't take flight when I started shooting photos of it. In fact, he seemed to pose for me and I got some great shots, including this one. 

It reminds me that everything is in God's timing and not my own. It is so strange because everything had to line up perfectly for this shot to happen. We had to arrive on time, the pelican had to be there and be calm..just everything. That happens a lot in my photos. I wonder where God's timing will lead me next. 

Until Tomorrow

Grace Be With You

Katie

Uniqueness

A Yellow Bird - 2009 Harlingen Texas

I love the fact that we are all so incredibly unique. In physical features and personalities and I just think it is awesome and shows the incredible detail oriented God we have. I mean who would have thought to have so many people that are so different in so many ways altogether in one world. God, of course. 

It's just awesome. So today I am just celebrating the uniqueness of humanity. And the amazing details in this world. Who else but God could create and come up with these infinite personalities and features??

Until Tomorrow

Grace Be With You

Katie

Be Still.

Eagle River Alaska, 2008

 

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46

Psalm 46 is one of my favorites. It has been since I was at least 17. I think that is when it spoke to me. Psalm 46 has seen divorce, problems with children, and death.  Be Still. That's what God says. Be still. Stop. Quit what you are doing and look upon Me. 

Let Me make you into who you are.

How amazing is that? 

I love the band Flyleaf. Not everyone can handle their RocknRoll style, and there is some screaming in it. But I absolutely am in love with this band and their music. Here's A sample of one of the songs that is truly speaking to me:

Treasure By Flyleaf

Can I tell you a story as we dance while the sun starts to bleed
Song of songs love is calling daughter wake up from your sleep

Refined I'll become the most dazzling precious treasure
I'll be treasured over all the earth

Bearing the gift of a new heart
Patience ablaze I'm slowly burning

//Refined ill become the most dazzling precious treasure
Ill be treasured over all the earth//

I am in awe and in shock
I'm in love and given away
I'm reserved with these words:

Can I tell you a story as we dance while the sun starts to bleed
Trees rejoice with the wind here

Hallelujah, Yeshua

Tonight I've become the most dazzling precious treasure
I am treasured over all the earth

Just look at what he's done
How he's laying down his life
Take this life
Oh most dazzling precious treasure
Tonight I've become the most dazzling precious treasure
I am treasure over all the earth.

Until Tomorrow,

Grace Be With You

Katie

Ah, Mountains!

 

Turnagain Arm, South of Anchorage, Alaska 2007

Ah, Mountains. I think Mountains are beautiful. They are rough and tough and if you ever tried to climb the mountain well, you need experience to do it. It seems to me that lately I've been climbing a mountain. Everything is one step forward, big slide back. Or at a stand still. I keep having to remind myself that everything is in God's timing and I never know what He may bring into my life. I keep saying this but this has become very personal to me, so I'm just being honest about where I am and what I feel God is telling me. So I think it's important to keep in mind that yes, I may not always be positive or maybe in the time, like this that I am going through I just want to make sure that you know that I am hopeful and praising God even though I might be feeling like I'm facing a mountain or at a standstill in my walk with Him. I still feel Him working on me, chipping away at all resistance even if I'm not where I want to be. There is always a reason for that. I am in a time of learning, and I know that God has something special for me. Just like how He reminds me in that in His beautiful landscapes.

Until Tomorrow

Grace Be with You

Katie

Home

Not too long ago I made some disparaging remarks about the Valley where I live and its landscape. It seems that maybe I spoke too soon or I just have never taken the time to truly look at the landscape or God is making me eat my words....probably the latter. So as I'm thinking about what to post on my "bloggity" (Thank You Natalie Norton) I'm thinking wow, you know the valley is prettier than I thought. I took this particular shot in downtown Harlingen. Now it is ok during the day, but I just love the night. So probably for awhile you can look forward to some good night photos. This is Jackson Street, the "hub" if you will of the downtown streets. No, we are not a big metropolitan area but I am slowly learning to love living here. And well the landscapes are growing on me.

The thing that is starting to hit me is that God is using all these little incidents in my life to make me grow. It hurts. Ouch. But Praise God all is well and we are moving forward.

Until Tomorrow

Grace Be With You

Katie

Sometimes You take a Stumble into the Sand Dunes

Writing this blog has certainly become an adventure for me. There is no possible way I can know what picture will flow from one day to the next. And on top of that I never actually know if my idea will work or be a mess. Right now as I'm writing this, I have no photo. BUT I have a story , an adventure if you will. I truly  honestly believe that God has to have the most awesome sense of humor ever, and You will NEVER know when it will strike. For me, well that was last night.

Living 40 minutes from an island is a good thing. The plan: nighttime photos of both the beach side and bay side. The hope: An awesome shot of a lit up boat on the bay. The result: Stuck vehicle in sand. Now it's gonna get embarrassing, but only for me. See I knew better.I knew better than to drive on sand. In a BIG rear wheel drive truck. And yet I still did it. And that's when the fun begins. There is no better way to see God than to be so humble as to know that even though you may be amazing, there are times that no matter what you do, well, you are just stupid. Yep, stupid. The part I love?  I was telling myself no as I was pushing the pedal down. Here's the thing: I am not SuperWoman. Eek. That hurt. Yep, I have no magical powers that will let me drive through sand, not slide on ice, and I have no mechanical inclinations at all. So, you're all wondering what happens next right? How did I get out of the sand? Well first things first. In the dark, with no one around and absolutely no lights, no cars driving by, well, it puts things into perspective. Today, I'm beginning to think there was a plan. But in my eyes there is always a plan. So I start trying to get the truck out of the sand. I go forward and backward. I find a piece of cardboard and try that. I even get on my hands and knees and start shoveling. I REALLY, really didn't want to call anyone. I really hate to be yelled at. Really. Hate. Yelling. Ask my kids, they hate it too. So I coyly call for advice from a friend, who I know will know how to get a stuck truck out of sand. Here's the part I hate: He said I couldn't do it. I wouldn't know how. Me, SuperWoman, wouldn't be able to handle this...what?!?!  Tell me it's not true. Then he said he would come get me out of the sand. And no it doesn't end there, that's not my point. Ok, so after that it's dark. It's creepy and my friend who came with, well she's a little freaked. I mean it is DARK. There is no light except what we can see from some construction and its off season. So I'm still trying to get the truck out of the sand, sort of. Until I fall in the sand, get covered and decide, I'm through. He was right. I can't do this. Now about that time I am praying. Well, technically I've been praying to get that car out of the sand since it got stuck. But all in God's timing, which, well, it isn't my own. This is unfortunate. So I'm praying.  Loudly. It feels like God is with us, the sky is so deep and it's so dark and quiet, it just seemed like the thing to do. But what I thought was interesting wasn't the words I was praying but the silence. Not of God, because we both agree, He is talking. And there was no way I was listening lately but that may be because of all the noise of life. I had to wait. Sit and wait. There was nothing I could do. Nothing. The truck just sat there making me mad. And then to have a friend tell you, he would come rescue you, well nothing quite hurts your pride as having to be rescued from your own stupidity. So to my point. God wanted my attention. He got it. And He taught me that pride can sneak up on you. Thinking that WE can do EVERYTHING, well, that's pride. There is nothing more humbling than God letting your pride take you tumbling into a big sand dune.

Oh and P.S. My friend got us safely out of the sand and on our way home. But not before laughing. At Me. I got a lecture about sand. It took about 15 minutes. Took me an hour and a half just to sit and talk to God. And it took me well, into an hour of that time to admit I needed help. See, there is always a plan...even if we don't know it.  

Until Tomorrow
Grace Be with You
Katie

Children's Faces

Sometimes the best shots I get are the ones I'm not even trying at. This candid photo was taken as she looked at her mom. Sometimes I wish I just had a hidden camera to catch all those kid faces..you know, the ones that make us laugh and the ones that make us want to scream...Maybe that will be my next project...children's faces.

Until Tomorrow

Grace Be With You

Katie

The Night

There is something inherently beautiful about the night to me. It is peaceful and serene. There is a stillness and quietness in the night that calms me for some reason. Now I'm not downing the bright sunshiny days, I'm just saying that the night has a special place in my heart.

I apologize for missing a day on this blog. But I'm still plugging away and taking photos, just having an interesting time coming up with creative photos. Recently every night time experiment seems to have been a flop; some mess that sounded good at the time. I think this blog has become something in itself. Something that I didn't expect. What I expected to be a few good photos and some words about God has turned into a very personal experience for me.

Yes it is personal. I want to make sure I am honest and truthful about not only my walk with God, but with who I am. So yes, there are days that things just don't work out for me. And no, I don't always behave the way I should. I think maybe for me, it's this sense of sharing an experience that is so personal and real to me, that I have no choice than to be truthful and transparent, mainly because I do not want you to get the wrong idea about God. It is so increasingly important to me, that not only do you see God, but that you see Him through my eyes, with all the ugly flesh showing through to God's amazing grace and forgiveness for such a person as me. I am not worth His grace, forgiveness, or love but the debt has been paid for in my name and yours.

So I am an imperfect being on a journey of perfection .....sounds so corny but it's true. Sometimes it's just harder to see the writing on the wall. So here is where I am. I am seeking God and sometimes, my flesh wins and sometimes my heart wins.

Until Tomorrow,

Grace Be With You

Katie

Interesting Photo

Monster

This is Monster, our very mischevious cat. I don't say that lightly either. He can often be heard calling out my  mother.."Mom." "Mom." He jumps and plays and he loves massages. Especially if my brother is behind the massage. He seems to have a special touch.

My mom and her friend found Monster when they were out for a walk one day. He could have only been like a day old at most. He didn't even have his eyes open. Monster thinks he is human. He also thinks he is the prettiest among us and well, I'm not sure he thinks we're all that great looking.

We all love Monster, he's a brat at best, wants to be petted when he wants to be petted. He pretty much does whatever it is he wants to. Curiosity? Well Monster invented the word. He has to inspect bags when they come into the house. He wants to look and smell your drink and your food. He genuinely likes people.

 Oh, and he can open doors. Who doesn't like a talented cat like that?

Sometimes I feel like a cat...I know silly right? But a cat like Monster. With personality of course. Like right now honestly, I'd really like to do whatever I want to. I'd like to just go with the flow. And curious, I am probably just as curious as he is if not more. Loving takes sacrifice, so I have to sacrifice the part of me that would like to look in every bag and just live for myself and not take into consideration what God wants me to do.

Until Tomorrow

Grace be with you

Katie

The Road Less Travelled

Canadian Highway, The Yukon, April 2007

I had an interesting thought the other day. I thought about how much my life has changed in such a short time. How pain and depression can color your life. I almost have a before and after. I was this way before this event and now I'm this way. It's been a long hard road to get here. Ever since I can remember I have always taken the road less traveled. When I was younger it was more about being different than anything else. I didn't want to conform to someone's standard of me. Now though, it seems that the road less travelled is the one where people do the right thing. I've never taken the easy path, now I have known and loved people that take the easy path everytime, but for me the payoff was never worth it. And no matter how much I want it, the easy path has never been the right one for me. How I use to pray that just once the right thing to do would be the easy one. But it never was.

These days the right path is God's Will and it hasn't gotten any easier. How my flesh rebels at conforming to God. It kicks and screams and sometimes I feel I am in a fight that is way over my head and abilities. I know why and what I need to work on and I know that my Heavenly Father still loves me. But the time has come that I have to really work on those things that set me apart from God in sin. My prayer is that I can do it. For even in silence must I praise God and follow His Will.

So here's to all my fellow travelers on the road less traveled. May God's Grace be with you always.

Until Tomorrow

Grace Be With You

Katie

God is in the Details

Ouch! God keeps picking at me and it is getting harder. Everyday it's something new and lately I just haven't been cutting it. I know what I need to do, it's just so hard now that God is getting down to the nitty gritty. I think I'm going through a time of silence. But that is ok because my faith is strong. I know what God wants from me and I have to work at it be it.

I took this peaceful picture tonight. I think you can see where I am going with this. What do you see?

Until Tomorrow

Grace Be With You

Katie

Praising God!

Yosemite May 2008

Praising and Worshiping God

I am reading a book called "The Prayer That Changes Everything" by Stormie Omartian. I am realizing that I am focused more on me. How can I change? What do I need to do? I, I, I, and me some more. This book has really opened my eyes. Where am I focused on God? Now don't get me wrong, I have been working on learning and getting closer to God and just following God's Will. I am seeking Him. But here's the thing, now I'm getting to the parts that are bringing me closer to Him. To an understanding of God and Who He is. I reccomend this book greatly.

Okay, first things first, do we ever take the time to truly praise and worship God, just be in His presence? My answer to that is no. I thank Him and praise Him in every prayer for things that I have, for answered prayers, for all those things. However, I don't sit and meditate on it. I don't go deeper than Thank You for this or that. We all need to praise God, worship Him and become closer with Who He is. Just a quick note on why I find this important. The kind of life I want, need, is the life God has for me. That means sacrificing my human flesh and learning about God. Praise and worship is so important to just be with God without wanting or asking for anything. Just being in His presence. It's how we learn Who God is. I want the amazing, extraordinary life that God has for me and which I cannot attain without Him.

 Lord How I praise Your Name that I am not a mistake. I am a creation, from my eyes to my toes. Thank You Lord for being in every detail in this world. For planning my life. For choosing me to be the mother to my children. For choosing me to carry out Your Will and Your life for me. I praise You for the being the light through the clouds, the shining light in the darkness. You are so Amazing. Thank You for being my Provider, My Grace, my Heavenly Father, my Redeemer, my Ressurection, my Righteousness. Thank You Lord for being Everything to me. Amen.

Until Tomorrow

Grace Be With You

Katie

Heard a good sermon today. Was about how we are the salt of the earth. About how we never know what we do that makes an impact on someone else. Maybe it's our attitude. A positive word, a testimony. Maybe it's just that the love of our Jesus shows through. I think that is pretty darn cool...and pretty darn scary. It really makes me think about what I say and how I do things. See I can totally be a sarcastic negative person. I'm not always on my best christian behavior. Now I'm not saying that I am fake, we've got to be real because fake can be seen a mile away. Think of all the fake christians you know.  Can't you see them a mile away?

There are days I struggle. It's a different type of struggle these days though. It's not about whether God Exists nor is it whether I have faith in God. It is going through all these baby steps to get closer to God. Being consistent is a real struggle for me. Praying and studying His word and putting it to use, sometimes I don't get it. I won't sit here typing this to the world without being honest about myself. I used to have a very negative self image and there are still days I look in the mirror and see the blemishes and the lines about my eyes and think....wow. I'm old. or ugly or any of those many things that we say to ourselves. God did not make ugly. I know I am a beautiful person. I know God created me, ME! He didn't have to. I could totally be someone else right now! But I'm not and I am so thankful for that.

Every day it is my goal to do a few things: be consistent, follow God's Will, and Pray. If I could do that every day , I can't tell you the amazing things that would happen. And if we all did that?!?!?! WOW. Think of the changes that would happen in this world.

So here's my request: Pray for me. Pray that I am consistent in my study and prayer. Pray that I have a positive attitude and do not cause anyone to struggle. Pray that I can be an example to all those around me and make a positive effect on this world. Let the glory be God's!

Until Tomorrow

Grace Be With You

Katie

Baby Christians

Baby Christians...some of us will be baby christians forever. We will never get over ourselves and dig into the Bible and let God change us. And just so you know, let me put a disclaimer on this, I am not some learned preacher, I haven't even been in what I call a relationship with Jesus until really the past five months or so. Maybe longer. I know I was guilty of the baby christian phenomenon, go to church each Sunday, sing the songs, but not really change for many years. No reading the Bible daily, no learning on what God has to say to me, just a little baby, not on solid food, not doing any good for others or for myself.

Five months or so ago, that changed. I was tired of being miserable and I could hear God calling my name. Part of it was the people I am around. They are maturing christians with me. Now, I have to seek out knowledge from the Bible, from sermons, the internet (Mars Hill is a good one) and I read books about a relationship with God. Let me tell you I don't care one hoot about your or anyone else's religion. It gets in the way. If you are praying, reading, seeking God and in a relationship with Him, why do you need some label that is based on man's legalistic nature. Now before I get ugly comments let me say this: I go to church, I get inspired, filled up and sometimes, I have to get corrected in my behavior, But I'm not a baptist, protestant or any other label. I am a God Fearing God Following Woman. Period.

Okay so I know I'm getting a little deep here but isn't that what this is all about? That beautiful tree photo, that is from my friend's front yard. It reminds me that a tree doesn't bloom without food, water and sunlight. Sometimes it goes through cold weather and it looks worn, but if you feed and water it properly, look at it bloom. How beautiful is God's grace.

So I'm not here to teach you but get you thinking. To inspire you, to encourage you. I am so lazy and inconsistent sometimes. But I made this promise to God, One blog/photo a day and I'm going to do it. I absolutely have to pray about it. I read in my Bible about it. So I'm growing in my walk with God and I really hope that you put up the mouse and pick up your Bible. It's an amazing life and I'm just 5-6 months into it. God is doing amazing work in me and I know my life is only getting better day by day.

God is so Good. God is so REAL. Pray. You won't be the same. I promise.

Until Tomorrow

Grace be with You

Katie

Clouds and Birthdays

Harlingen, Texas of of Loop 499 1/15/10

These clouds appeared today like a wave in the ocean. The were low and thick and in some places it reminded me of a painting of Jesus riding a cloud down to the earth. Thank You Lord, for the reminder, that You are in all things. Your power is amazing. 

Harlingen Water Tower

1/15/10

God's Glorious Clouds

Looks like God's chariot as He comes down from heaven.

So today is my 32nd birthday. Don't ask me why this birthday unlike the 30th and 31st birthdays has been bothering me. It may be that someone made a comment about a 16 year old could be my daughter...that seems to have set me in a tailspin. So I'm 32, big deal; but it's seems to be a big deal to me. It's not so much the age as all the things that I haven't done yet. The plans I made that I never accomplished. The weight I've never lost, the success that hasn't come. I've lived 32 years and I don't know what I have done with my time. It seems to have disappeared. So I prayed about it. God is so good. He has helped me see, that all those little things that I haven't accomplished, weren't meant to be accomplished by me.

You see, God has plans for us all and my plans are NOT God's plans. Sometimes I need reminding of that. I spent my twenties raising children and trying to accomplish MY plans on MY own. God wants me to work on His plans and the great thing about that is that I'm not alone, He is there with me every step of the way.

Now, I'm not saying I want to be 20 years old again, maybe if I could have that body and face but not without the knowledge I have now. A very wise woman told me today that "the older you get, the better you get. Youth isn't all it's cracked up to be."

Good words.

Until Tomorrow,

Grace Be with You

Katie 

Moving Mountains

Alaska 2007

Here's a secret: Everyday I get up and have to make the decision to follow God. And here's the kicker: Sometimes I fail. Recently I have not been studying and praying like I should, and when that happens it just seems like the day is not right, or something (SOMEONE) is missing. I am not as productive in my business or in my duties that I feel God has led me to. You see christians fail all the time. Let me give you a hint, we are people. We fail. We get mad, sad, cry, and sometimes do the wrong things. Some christians are hypocrites and yes, those are the worst but we still love God and God still loves us and He still loves you.

Sometimes I just want to move mountains, there is even a verse in the Bible that talks about moving mountains with faith. Here is what I am learning. If I decided tomorrow morning that I was going to climb a mountain, it would take training. I would have to go on a diet and a strength and cardio program. I would have to buy all the right equipment and probably talk and get mentors who have already climbed mountains. I couldn't just wake up, get dressed, and go climb a mountain. That would be insane. A relationship with God is a lot of the same thing. The Bible is our training manual. Pastors and speakers and fellow christians help us to learn the ways of the Lord. But most importantly God, Himself chips away at us, like a potter to clay. He heals our hurts, dries our tears, give us hope, and teaches us faith. There are temptations and worldly vices and people who will get in our way. Our own selves will cry out, not wanting to change. But all is possible with God.

I don't proclaim to be an expert in a relationship with God. No, my faith and trust in the Lord grows day by day. Each day I learn new things and I am being changed into the woman He wants me to be. Some days I fail and let the world in and some days (and these are the good ones) I get to win.

You might ask yourself, if it hurts, if its hard, why do it? Because the reward is so great that the changes we make, the plucking away at the unpleasing parts of us that God does is so worth it. The reward is more than any riches on earth can be. Jesus suffered on a cross for me and you...God loves us that much, when did the world  ever do that for you?

Until Tomorrow

Grace be with You

Katie

Angels

Photo from Hurricane Dolly that hit So Texas in 2008

Commerce Street in Harlingen, Texas

The Day After

 Let me tell you a story I read, told by Joyce Meyer (www.joycemeyer.org)

" A friend of mine sat in a folding chair in a fishing boat on the lake. She was reading Psalm 91 and thanking God for her angels when the boat suddenly hit a wave and knocked over her chair. She hit her head on the side of the boat, but she was not really harmed. She was rather distraught by the fact she fell and hit her head, so she asked God, "Where were my angels?", God spoke to her heart and said, "You are not dead, are you?" In other words, she may have hit her head but it could have been much, much worse had her angels not been there."

With Hurricane Dolly, angels were at work. There were destroyed buildings, no power, bad water, and as you can see damage everywhere. But it could have been worse. I don't believe that we can be negative and be in God's good graces. How could we have faith if we are questioning God? There is a reason and a season for all things. I know that the earthquake in Haiti is devastating and my heart goes out to all those affected, from family and surviviors to the dead. We need to keep hope in God alive. Hope, that it will be okay and faith in God. But I see people pulling together to help. Could that be the plan? I don't know. But we are to be peacekeepers and helpers. Give a prayer for those in Haiti and the families of the affected. Keep the faith and hope alive...

 

Are not the angels all ministering spirits sent out in the service of those who are to inherit salvation?

Hebrews 1:14

Until Tomorrow

Grace Be With You

Katie

I am so Blessed

Praise God I am so blessed! I see people hurting, people who have nothing, people that live in nothing more than tin shacks. But me, I have a home with air conditioning, internet and cable, food on the table, clothing to wear and shoes. I have a computer but there are count em;, THREE computers in my house. We have 5 telelvisions, 2 of them are flat screens. We have camera equipment and running water.  We have cars to drive in and they have gas........but beyond all of those things we have our faith in God, contentment with where we are, healthy children and emotionally WE ARE TRULY BLESSED.

But there are so many out there that aren't. My friend Kathy mentioned something that I hadn't thought of  before, blessings don't always come in the form of cash or things. Sometimes blessings come in the form of revelations and emotions. To not be hurting from a loss, or crying over a broken heart is being blessed. Keeping life in perspective is a blessing. Sometimes we can get so lost in the how ...we forget to enjoy all the very many blessings that we have in life.
There are people out there hurting and need a blessing in their lives and maybe you can be that person. Or maybe someone just needs to be listened to. A simple prayer for another person can be a major blessings. I think we need to be open to listening to God when He wants to use us to bless others.
Prayerfully, I hope that I can always be that blessing to others.

Until Tomorrow
Grace be with You
Katie

BOLDNESS (Jesus Saves)

Jesus Saves

So today, really the past week has been a might hard. The Christmas holidays must have wiped me out because I am so incredibly tired. But this afternoon (and maybe it was the pot of coffee I had) I felt a little more energetic and after spending some time with God and my family, I went out to shoot photos.

Now I realize that I sometimes have a wacky sense of photography and quite frankly, I'm sorry if you don't get it. However, I like this photo. I think it's interesting and takes boldness to proudly proclaim to the world that Jesus Saves.

That is what I have been praying for. BOLDNESS. Just the sound of the word inspires confidence. BUT I'm nowhere near the boldness I think I actually need. Not only am I photographer but I also sing in church.Now I'm not talking like I am some amazing singer, I just want to sing to please the Lord and my friend Cari, plays the guitar and wants to praise God for it. So we do it together and each week I feel myself pray for boldness to get up on the stage and share my song with the world.

But what seems so funny is I am the same way with my photos. They are personal to me, and I will take it personally if they are not pleasing to you, just like my music. However, one thing that I am learning is it takes boldness in the Lord to proclaim that as long as I am following God's will, it shouldn't matter what you may think about my photos or my song selection.

So here's where I'm going with this: If I am not bold and do not proclaim Jesus Saves from my rooftop, if I hide my talents away and do not show the world my photos and share a song with them, what is it that I am saying about my faith? If God has given me a business but I don't include Him, can I ever be successful at it? Will God ever bless me, if I hide my faith under a rock?

No, I'd be saying that I'm a coward and I don't really believe what I am saying. And that scares me more than not saying anything at all.

So here's to baby steps into boldness. May we all be bold and proclaim to the rooftops, Jesus Saves.

Until Tomorrow,

Grace Be With You

Katie

God is REAL. God is Good

South Padre Island

Today I have not been to productive. And no, to be honest, this is not from today. I took this about a year and a half ago. This morning I heard an amazing sermon from Brother Ben Butler at Way of the Cross Ministries. He spoke on Hosea. Now, until today I hadn't heard Hosea. I am trying my best at having a relationship with Jesus but I started in the New Testament with my reading so this story wasn't something that I was familiar with. I want to share it because it touched me deeply.

Now, I don't have the finesse that Brother Ben has so I'll just tell the story my way. God told Hosea to marry a harlot. Yep, you heard me, a harlot. (= to prostitute, hooker, slave) Her name was Gomer. (Yes, I thought the same thing, Gomer Pyle...;)) Now Hosea came upon Gomer in a slave auction. I can't imagine anything worse than that. She was naked, beaten, skinny from lack of nutrition, and though she was about 28, I have to imagine that the life she led showed on her face. And here she was paraded about in front of all these men, who are bidding on her to be their slave. (As a note,slavery was common practice in Israel and many other nations.)  It must have been horrible for her, hearing her life reduced to shekels. One Shekel, two shekel, three shekels....who will bid 4? I'd like to think personally that my life is worth more than all the shekels in the world, what must she have thought as she stood up there on that stage? Just as the bidding is almost over, maybe a 10 shekel price is at stake, a voice comes from the crowd...15 shekels and a homer and a half of grain. The auctioneer bangs his gavel...SOLD.

Then he walked up to the stage, covered her with a blanket and took her hand and led her home as his WIFE, not slave. Anybody think that might have a parallel here? We are broken, hurting, sometimes mean, living in the world. We have vices, and faults and we live on the edge. Yet, Jesus comes, takes our hand, puts a blanket of comfort and peace around us and doesn't judge us, He makes us better people.

This photo reminds me of peace. Of comfort. Of beauty. God's beauty. I can almost imagine the light in the sky being Jesus watching and wanting to be in a relationship with us all.

God is REAL. God is GOOD.

Until Tomorrow

Grace Be With You

Katie

The Inside Out

I'm not a huge fan of the Valley where I live. It's hot, it's not anything spectacular, it's just dirt, palm trees, and a mangled mass of trees and  cactus with some brown grass thrown in. I wasn't gungho about it before I got to be an adult and after seeing places like Montana, Colorado and Alaska, the valley looks plain and forgotten and not so pretty.

There's no spectacular mountains and no beautiful gardens and it certainly doesn't snow here and that definitely would help the ambiance just a little. Today, though I had a different picture in mind and a different message to say, but God had something else to tell me. It's kinda about the Palm trees and I must not be getting it because here I am writing about something along the same lines.

The valley is not so pretty but I live here because my family lives here, the weather is consistent, there's a beach not too far away and I have great friends. Most importantly, I am here because God wants me here. I know that fact. So what is a photographer to do with dry farm land, citrus crops and brown grass? Show it to the world. I am learning to appreciate the beauty in the valley. It's not your typical place but I have learned to love it and be content with what I have.

God wants me to show the valley and that is what I need to do and will. He chose this special place in this time for me to be in it and like the song says" I will rejoice and be glad in it!"

It's not Alaska, Colorado or one of those other beautiful states, but this is where God has chosen. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that fact because it is so easy to get lost in what you want for yourself and not what God wants for us. After all, God's plan is so much greater than the plan that we could ever have for ourselves.

We just have to keep God as the focus.

Until Tomorrow

Grace be with you

Katie

The Tree and it's branches and a stop sign

The Tree and the Stop Sign

I know, real snazzy  title to this photo. When I stopped and looked at this tree I really analyzed it, maybe too much, which is what I often do.  Not at the time that I shot this photo however. I started my quest out driving around with my mom, looking for a tree or for wherever God might send me to take a photo. I pray about the words I write and the photo that I choose or take.

So here is where I (we) ended up today, out on a country road, not far from a bridge and close to a small town. I could have cropped out the road and the stop sign but when I really started looking at the photo and then prayed about it I felt a sense of peace about it, in that, I think sometimes we all need a stop sign in our lives. Something that says smell the roses or you're not thinking right. When I looked at this tree earlier, what came to me was this: A tree has many branches that grow off of it, and maybe it is time to stop and think about what branches are growing on our tree.

Are we sharing God's love and bearing fruit? Or do we need to stop and examine what it is we are putting time into?

"Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and cast into the fire. Therefore, you will fully know them by their fruits." Matthew 7: 19-20

Until Tomorrow

Grace Be With You

Katie

Tragedy

Today in Hawaii, there is a mom who's heart is breaking over the loss of her baby son. Gavin Norton died today. He was probably one of the most prayed about babies that I have ever heard of. You might think that I knew them, but I didn't. Like a lot of prayer warriors who have been praying for the life of this little boy, I have never met nor had I heard of Natalie Norton until about a week ago. I have to tell you that  although it breaks my heart that little Gavin passed away, I have joy in that his mother told the world today: "God is good. God is Great."  Natalie Norton

I have been through similiar tragedy, in 2007 my husband, Raymond Paden passed away suddenly. I, however didn't have the faith of Natalie Norton. It has taken me two years and a lot of prayer to get to the point I am today. You see, I took the road of asking why, the road of anger, even the path of self destruction. My heart was broken in a million pieces. I wasn't much of a christian but when I couldn't take it anymore, I cried out to God and certain relief came. The sense of peace like a wave came over me. God Loves Us. And just like any Father there are times when we ask why, and we don't get an answer. Sometimes it's not between God and Us, it's between God and the person who passed away. It can even be that we don't know God's plan. Sometimes it is hard to struggle with that. The not knowing. I want to know. I do. But after two years of praying the question isn't why anymore. It's what can I do.  It's I'm going to praise Your name for the things that I do have and the blessings that I constantly receive. It's please Forgive me. And it's mold me into the person You want me to be. I loved (love) my husband very deeply and his death will probably always affect me but how I choose to live for God is the most important thing. See Natalie knows something I didn't. She knows one day she will be reunited with Gavin. Jesus paid that price for us. I will one day be with Raymond again. And for that, I thank You, Jesus.

Lord, tonight I send a prayer up for the Nortons and every other soul that has lost someone as dear to them as Gavin and Raymond. May Your peace and comfort rain down and fill their souls. Lord, help my faith to be strong. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Until Tomorrow

Grace be with You

Katie

A Mother's Hands and A Plea for Pee!

A Mother's Hands

When I think of  a mother's hands I think about how hard they have to work. I think about the time put in and the dinners cooked, laundry cleaned, errands run, and the many many other things that Mothers do.

But I think one of the things we forget about when we think about our mothers, is the prayers that they have prayed over the years. I know my own mother has prayed a million times over for me these almost 32 years. As a mother myself, I pray for their protection, for their happiness, for their futures. I have prayed that they become honorable Men of God. I pray daily that God's angels will be on constant vigil for them.

And my own mother, prayed when I was hurting more than I can say, right after my husband passed away.

And to me, that may have been the most important prayer she ever prayed for me. Because at that moment I needed peace and comfort more than I ever had before.  And I cannot ever thank her enough for that.

God says our faith can move Mountains! I know in my heart that my mom's heartfelt prayers have often moved mountains for me, even when I didn't have  faith myself!

There is a stranger in Hawaii, who is praying the hardest she ever has in her life, for her newborn son. She has faith that God will provide that relief and heal her son from this ordeal.

But she is asking for our help, help in praying for her son. Oddly enough, she needs him to pee! She needs him to pee the fluid that is killing him. I send a prayer up to God to watch over and protect and heal this family and their son, Gavin.

Lord, I'm praying for Pee!!! Let this baby pee off all the fluid that is killing him, let his heart be good. And Lord, most of all, bless this family with Your presence, comfort, and peace!

Amen. 

Send her a message or a prayer @ www.natalienortonphoto.com

Until Tomorrow,

Grace be with you,

Katie

When Things Go Wrong

Corpus Christi - 2005

So sometimes, even pros go out to shoot and everything goes wrong and there is nothing to show for it. Tonight that is where I am. I went out, had an idea in my head and it didn't work out. So today's picture is of Corpus Christi, Texas, the Gulf of Mexico. I took this in 2005 when my late husband and I went on a trip there.

I didn't like any of the photos I took that day. Not of my children, not of the bay area, nothing. Just didn't like it one bit. Yet as I look back on it today, I really like it. I took it in the late afternoon right as it was turning dark and I got this bluish tint because I was still shooting with a high shutter speed because I wanted to catch the seagulls. But now that I look at this photo, it seems serene and I like the blue tint.

Seems to me that lately all God keeps showing me is be flexible. Be ready and willing and if it doesn't work out, keep trying.

Recently I was trying to get the worship guys at our church and My friend Cari and I to put together a little Christmas Cantata. I wanted to do it for all the souls that work so hard at the Missions. Well, let me tell you I am an organizer. I want things a certain way and I want to be able to prepare for them. But it turned out to be a mess mainly because of me. I wanted it my way but the others in the group were busy and they couldn't plan things the way I wanted them too. So I pouted and I got in a bad attitude and said "forget it." I didn't practice and I was very upset the night it happened, because I thought we'll do 2 songs and that will be it and it will be over with. It was horrible. The timing on the songs weren't right, I kept messing up the songs and that threw off Cari but most important, my heart wasn't right. I wasn't singing for God, I was singing just to sing. And it showed. Now, I try my best and sing for God, because then I know for sure that even if I mess up a note, or sing the wrong word, at least God saw my heart.

So maybe today, God wanted me to show you my failure. I'm not going to stop being a photographer because I didn't like the picture, or that I failed tonight in my quest to take one awesome photo a day. But I am sharing with you a photo that I definitely see God in. The mirror effect of the water,  the buildings and miracle of engineering, boats, and the sea gulls.

What do you see God in? What is your view?

Until Tomorrow

Grace be with you,

Katie

Midnight Surburbia and Grass

  Midnight Suburbia and Grass

I know it sounds a little kooky but what in this world today isn't. I went out with the intention of just shooting the grass since I am totally obsessed with night time photos right now. However, when I came back from shooting the photos outside, these two are the only ones that spoke to me.

Now I was thinking of posting a photo that I had taken earlier in the day of our cat, Monster. Monster is quite a character, but I think I'll leave that story for another day.

In the top photo there is just this eerie feeling of security and family and this eerie sense of patriotism while  in the bottom well, I just love the colors. (And yes I can be that simple.) I like the way the grass lays. and sticks up all jointy and smooth in some places.

Here's my thing: How in the world did God keep up with ALL these details? The grass the sun, the moon and stars, I can barely keep up with my children and their schedules let alone the world's details. But of course, that makes Him, the Almighty, The King of Kings, The Organizer of All Organizers...;)

All I can do is stare up in wonder (or down as the case may be). If God can keep up and do all these amazing things, just think what He could do in our lives with no problem at all.  I just hope I can give all these details justice in my photography....I'm trying.

Until Tomorrow,

Grace Be With You

Katie